First you remember, as if in a dream or watching a piece of a thought float by. You get an idea, a vision of what it might be like. But you don’t know. Something deep inside calls to you, but you question or don’t pay attention to it. A part of your knows that your destiny lies here, and you are uncertain what to do with it.

When I was forty I received the “family” message. It was very specific. I knew that if I did not have kids and a family, I would feel that I had missed something when I turned fifty.

Fortunately, right around that time I also met my wife, Kim, with the help of another clear message: “Marry this woman and you can have everything you want.” Good information. Thank heaven I got out of my own way long enough to fall in love with and marry the woman I’m still crazy about. Our family now includes a son and two daughters. I am thankful every day.

Had I not made that decision fifteen years ago, all I would have now would be a clean house. Instead I have chaos and clutter and four other people I adore and get to share my life with. Pretty rich.

Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done (by far) and also the best. In the most basic way it makes sense out of this life. Like love, it makes all the pieces fit together. It has been more work than I ever thought possible, and many days end with me putting my daughters down (my son is a teenager now) and falling asleep on their bed, completely exhausted and spent—nothing left. But like the Jackson Browne song says, “And when the morning light comes streamin’ in, I’ll get up and do it again. Amen.”

With kids, the journey is an amazing one. Each step really is a new discovery. Along the way, I have picked up a few pieces of information. That’s what this book is—the things that make a family work. It is the “operating manual” that should come with the first child. These are the things I have tried, tested against my own experience, and found to work. My suggestion to you is to do the same—try them on, see what fits, and put the rest in the recycling pile.

Being a parent is an honorable thing to do with your life. I wish you the best on your journey.